Our Perfect Instagram Marriage

Director of Development

We all know what the perfect marriage on Instagram and Facebook looks like. The perfect, physically fit, beautiful parents, with the kids laughing so effortlessly in the perfect setting.

We look at these people and idolize them. They look cool, or beautiful, or funny, or smart, or just plain fun.

What I have come to realize is that these people do not have the perfect job or family, as it appears. So why do we compare ourselves to these people?

We all know couples who portray everything to be the perfect picture of life, only to find out they’re about to divorce. How does that happen? Didn’t they just show a picture of them kissing last month? I don’t get it.

Here’s the truth:

If your marriage is half as good as our marriage appears to be on Instagram then you should write a book.

The problem is not Instagram or Facebook. It just so happens that social media gives us a great picture of how we live.

Do people around you know what you don’t put on social media? Are we all walking around with the idea that no one knows we’re struggling?

I wish Instagram had another button or two available. Maybe a ‘You have no idea the argument that went on before this smile pic’ button.

Now more than ever, we can be the most fake people on the earth. We can show our pretty, perfect happy lives and it be a total facade.

Then there are the other people (all of us can relate) who can feel like their life isn’t as fun as everyone else’s because they don’t have 2 1/2 kids, 2 dogs, and a picket fence.

I love the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I think now, more than ever, comparison happens every second of every day when someone logs onto Facebook or Instagram.

I want to make sure that my comparisons aren’t found in others but in Christ. I also have to remember the bad memories typically aren’t caught on camera.

I don’t know about you all, but we have no pictures of us when we are crying or mad at each other. Why? It just doesn’t happen.

We take pictures in the good moments. I must remember that when I can get caught up in the comparison hamster wheel.

Are your relationships Instagram depth or Biblical depth?

You see, if someone didn’t know Aly and I and just looked at our last 9 pictures together on instagram, this is what the story would be:

I am not saying you should air your daily fights on social media. I am however giving a word of caution. If there aren’t people who know your marriage isn’t perfect, you might should tell them.

I don’t believe the danger is in having a flawed marriage. I believe the danger is trying to keep up the illusion of a perfect marriage.

What do you do when the secret is out of the bag then? That is when things get crazy.

Last but not least I recently had an interaction on Facebook with an old friend. He is one of the coolest guys I know. Seems to have an awesome life. He is just definition: cool. I wrote a message on his Facebook wall telling him how awesome he was. His response is what truly prompted this post.

He said in a public reply:

“Josh, I appreciate the kind words. I can say they came at the perfect time as I needed a little boost. Like most people, I put my best foot forward on Facebook, etc. so the actual me is just good ‘ol normal me.”

I want to be this vulnerable. He didn’t dump his life story on me. He said thanks and then gave a quick glimpse that his life has bumps too.

As Christians, yes, we should strive for perfection in what God deems as perfect. That all starts with realizing we are very flawed.

Stop trying to be perfect by comparing to people’s best moments. Learn a lesson from my Facebook friend and be real. Be vulnerable.


Director of Development